It’s often said of New York that if you want to commit a crime, the best time is St. Patrick’s Day. The cops are all tanked. In fact, everyone’s tanked. Actually, I think everyone’s tanked most of the time in New York. I think it’s to blot out the humanity you have to deal with on the streets. And the ex-boyfriends you run into like land mines.
I just returned from NY on Weds and even I was hammered most of the time. Basically, I was sober for, like, an hour during five days. And I wasn’t alone. People drink and then walk in New York. You know, drink a little, walk a little, pop into another place, drink a little, walk a little, etc. The boyfriend said this is called Bar Hopping. But is it still Bar Hopping when it’s morning? We were walking through Soho and had to slip into some some brunchy/tinned ceiling $15 omelet place on Greene Street for the boyfriend to use the john and when he came out, I was doing Tequila shooters at the bar. It wasn’t even 11am. (I’d already run into two people I’d rather have avoided.) So, really, Happy St. Patrick’s Day and all that, but, come on. As far as NY is concerned, what makes this drunken, pukey-burp and white pizza day different from all the rest? Green beer.
– Ray Cochran