I had the most fun producing entertainment for The Black Party this year and actually managed to create a huge scandal at the most scandalous party of the year.
Of course, I’m usually in drag when performing with The Velvet Mafia but I was wearing a prison guard uniform Saturday night at Roseland for an interactive theatrical production set in a Mexican prison to go with the S&M party’s Mucha Libre Mexican wrestling theme this year. My show was called “The Penile Colony” and the players, 20 professional escorts dressed as prisoners and guards, were to interact with the audience (it was billed as “Tony n’ Tina’s Wedding meets Midnight Express”) and the plan was for the crowd to be subjected to “cavity searches” upon admission. There was supposed to be a sign in place announcing the nature of the production and the searches. Unfortunately, the producers of the party forgot to put up the sign.
At 1AM when I led the chain gang across the massive dancefloor and upstairs to the backrooms of Roseland where the drama was to unfold, it caused a surge of interest and everyone was packed up against the doors waiting for them to open. But behind those doors were eight “prison guards,” all professional dominant escorts, and all as tall as me (6′ 6″). When the doors opened, we started throwing the customers up against the wall and subjecting them to searches. The revelers, many of whom were already tweaking their brains out, thought we were real security and started to panic. Pandemonium ensued as many bolted, started swallowing their stashes; many were in the country without papers, etc. People were crying, begging, and making emergency phone calls to their lawyers. We just kept doing what we had been hired to do. It caused such a panic that the real police were called and I’m told they wanted to arrest us for impersonating police officers. But by the time NYPD arrived, Roseland had forced us to throw open the doors to the back rooms and my entire cast had been swept back inside by a tsunami of homosexuals in black leather. The lights got knocked out by the crowd and it was an hour before I could find my way back to the door through the near-riot in pitch darkness. Not that I minded. The whole “Penile Colony” concept had whipped the crowd into a sexual frenzy so intense that when the lights came up again, the entire cluster-fuck of 500 people had to be cleared out so the club could regain control of the area. It was quite a scene.
So, what have you been doing for fun?
– Dean Johnson