The US military, you may have heard recently, had an idea back in 1994 to create aphrodisiac chemicals that would turn entire troops of soldiers into seething homosexuals, “so that discipline and morale in enemy units is adversely affected.” Oh, so the chemical would be used on the enemy, eh? Lucky enemy. And what’s so adverse about a homo orgy anyway, especially if ample protection is provided? But the idea was scotched by the Pentagon. The idea “arose essentially from a brainstorming session,” said a Defense Department spokescolonel, “and it was rejected out of hand.”
Ha ha, did he say “out of hand”? But in their quest for “less than lethal” warfare (barring, of course, no war at all) the military brain boys also came up with trying to concoct a chemical that could be sprayed on the enemy to attract bees, rodents, and large angry animals, and a chemical to create severe, chronic halitosis so that US troops could sniff out infiltrating enemies – as if soldiers on the front practice daily dental hygiene.
Meanwhile, where can we get our hands on that gay spray?