June 1, 1970– Sexology Magazine reported that a study shows that, on average, gay men have larger penises than heterosexual men. An unpopular, but true assertion, I have done some research on my own. I think that Sexology Magazine is a swell name for my New Jack Folk band.
June 1, 1994– The Pentagon seriously considered a proposal from the USAF requesting funds to develop a “gay bomb” that would turn enemy troops gay. The proposal came to light in 2007 when the “Sunshine Project” discovered it through a Freedom Of Information Act disclosure. I have no idea what the “Sunshine Project is, but count me in.
As part of our military’s effort to develop non-lethal weapons, the proposal suggested:
“One distasteful but completely non-lethal example would be strong aphrodisiacs, especially if the chemical also caused homosexual behavior.”
I like the idea of those darn Iraqis and our US soldiers in an orgy of lust. That unending war would have gone much differently. I can just picture Dick Cheney filming the entire enterprise to enjoy at home in Wyoming along with Lynne and his hunting buddies.
The revealed documents show the Air Force lab requested $7.5 million to develop such a chemical weapon. They called the new weapon, get ready for this: POPPERS. For realz. I think that The Sunshine Project would make a terrific name for my new Christian Bossa-Nova trio.
Happy June! I hope that none of you are busting out all over today.
