Queerty is reporting that a recent national survey released by the CDC revealed that more Americans are identifying as bisexual than ever and more straight-identifying men are admitting to having tried gay sex.
Researchers interviewed more than 9,000 men and women ages 18 to 44 years of age. Of all the men interviewed, 6.2 percent of them said they had engaged in same-sex sexual activity at least once in their lifetime. And of that 6.2 percent, 2.3 percent identified as straight.
Who are these guys? (And where do you meet them…?) No, seriously, where are they? Apparently, they’re everywhere. Queerty located a few of them and if they their identities remained confidential, they offered to share;
Rob (not his real name) is 46-years-old. He lives in San Jose, CA and has been married to his wife for 12 years. He identifies as “straight with bisexual tendencies” and has been hooking up with other guys on the down low since he was 19.
“Hooking up with other men, to me, is a non-complicated way of releasing sexual steam. It’s simply a physical release with no pressure.”
Rob prefers getting together with other married men on the DL, as opposed to single or openly gay men. He finds most of the guys on Craigslist or dating sites like Squirt.org.
“I seek out other married men for the simple fact that they are in the same boat as me, and hopefully can relate to what I am looking for. I do not want to jeopardize my marriage. Another married man can understand that. Other married men are not willing to take as many risks.”
The primary risk being, Rob says, “getting strong emotions or falling in love. I wouldn’t want to become the object of another man’s desire. I do find some men attractive, but for me it’s just sexual. I don’t feel attracted to men in a loving way at all.”
Currently, there are two guys Rob sees on a regular basis.
“One is divorced, the other is a widower and semi-retired. They both live alone, and are therefore able to host our get togethers…. there is no love involved.”
Fascinating no? Well, meet Tony…
Tony (not his real name) is 32-years-old. A divorcee, he lives in New York City and just recently began identifying as bisexual, though he’s only out to a small handful of people. He has a casual girlfriend as well as a few regular “buddies” who he will occasionally meet for sex.
“The first time I messed around with a guy I was 21. He was an older married guy who I met on a gay website. My challenge is that New York City is a very feminine gay city, and that’s not my type. I’m only into guys who are DL, not being noticed as gay. That’s my protocol. When I find someone who’s a match I keep him as a regular.”
Tony says he meets most of his hookups on dating apps or on Craigslist, and he will often develop close friendships with them afterwards. He says he’s not “paranoid” about people knowing what he does, but he’s still not 100 percent comfortable with it either.
“I would be afraid of telling someone I had a relationship with a man,” he admits, adding that maybe someday he’ll feel differently. Until then, however, “I need to make sure the guy meets my criteria.”
What about their wives? If they’re married, they ARE in fact, cheating. Andrew (not his real name) says,
“If my wife found out she would leave me. She is very traditional and religious and does not believe in homosexuality. I love her and wish that we could have some sort of open relationship, but she would never go for it.
Hooking up with other guys is not something that I am proud of. I wish that I didn’t have the urge or want to do it, but there is something about being with another guy that reignites me. After being with another guy I find that I am more loving and happy at home. It adds life to me.”
I have to say, I agree with what Quentin Crisp famously said,
“Men aren’t heterosexual or homosexual, they’re just sexual.“