As far as conspiracy theories go, Ted Cruz is the Zodial Killer was definitely up there as one of the greats. First of all, a recent PPP poll actually showed that 38% of Florida voters thought that it was possible that Ted Cruz is the Zodiac. An if 38% of Floridians think something is real, it’s probably worth considering. Secondly, a most importantly, nobody could prove that he WASN’T the Zodiak killer, which means he could very will have been. So there’s THAT.

Butm now it’s time to let that theory go, because there’s a newer and better one one out there: Yes it’s come to my attention that Ted Cruz is DEFINETLY the lead singer of ‘8os Christian hair metal band Stryper. Look at the photo, above! Lead singer Michael Sweet has even acknowledged it (sort of).

Not all of his fans, though, are happy about this new theory:

Ok, we’ve all now seen at least a dozen times the Ted Cruz looks like Michael in one photo from 1983. I’ve been tagged, had it forwarded to me and have deleted countless postings on the Stryper page that I am webmaster for. First, stop it! Second, it’s making fun of the band and my best friends. Third, it’s making fun of anyone who dares be a fan (in other words….YOU). I don’t like ANY of that! I discussed this with Michael the day he posted it and the only reason he posted was because of the free press that comes from it. He didn’t like the post either and removed the original persons name from it. It has now grown to the point of being ridiculous. So, can I ask everyone to not post it anymore and to move on? Can we all agree on that? Can I get a like or comment of agreement on this? Sorry, it isn’t funny anymore. (Never was).

(via the DailyWhat)