Last weekend, Mario Licato met some friends for lunch, went to a friend’s apartment in Brooklyn for the afternoon and around 8PM he took the F train to go to the Lower East Side. He got off the train at Delancey Street and, well, he told Gothamist,

“I was walking up the stairs. I had my head down—there were people in front of me—just to make sure I wasn’t going to fall.

I didn’t even see the guy. I just see his fist coming towards me. It knocked me, and while I was falling down the stairs, all I hear was, ‘This is because you look exactly like Shia LaBeouf!‘”

Licato lost consciousness when he landed at the bottom of the stairs, and when he came to his face was covered in blood, his glasses broken and a couple rushed to his aid and asked him,

“Did you know that guy?”

The couple, according to Licato, described the attacker as in his mid-20s, 6 foot to 6-foot-3, and muscular, kinda like a frat boy. Licato says he know the guy. The LaBeouf hater, as Licato says witnesses recounted, was running down the stairs when he punched Licato and kept going, then boarded a train.

“I was so confused. I was even more confused because I got up and I was like, am I crazy or did I hear him say, “This is because you look like Shia LaBeouf?“

And they were like,

“Nope. That’s exactly what he said as he was running away from you.“

The couple called 911 and helped Licato up the stairs to the sidewalk to wait for an ambulance. One arrived within minutes, but Licato says the emergency medical technicians who stepped out weren’t exactly comforting.
They got out of the car and the first EMT guy, while I’m gushing blood from my face, with my broken glasses, just says,

“Welcome to New York, buddy.“

My response was,

“Well, fuck you, I’m born and raised here. Are you kidding me? You’re standing in front of somebody who’s bleeding out of their face and that’s your first response?“

The EMTs checked him for a concussion and cops arrived, and Licato says they were helpful. And what about Licato’s resemblance to LaBeouf? Has he gotten that before?

“So many times. That’s why I knew I wasn’t that crazy. I got it three years ago. I’ve been stopped on the street before, at least 10 times in my life.

I wanna know what Shia LaBeouf did to him. What did Shia LaBeouf do to him that he punched somebody that looks like him? He must have did something so mean. Did he steal his girlfriend? Did he just see his last performance art piece?“

We’ll never know. But apparently Shia LaBeouf felt bad for the guy and left him a voicemail. Licito told Esquire,

“[Shia] left me a voicemail yesterday morning… it was a pretty long voicemail. He was like,

“Hey, this is Shia LaBeouf … I just read an article that you were punched in the face because you look like me?” And he was like, “Aw, man. That sucks. I’m so sorry. But I get it. It’s happened to me before.”

And then he was like, “I don’t know. I wish I was in New York. I’d come bring you soup.” He was just like, “This sucks. I don’t even know what to say. I’m sorry. People are just crazy. Just because you look like me?” I was obviously laughing the whole time. And then he was like, “Here’s my phone number. Don’t give it to anybody. Please, please, call me back. Call me back if you want to. We could chat. Let’s giggle over this. Maybe there’s a silver lining in all this. But call me back.” And then he was like, “And once again, this is Shia LaBeouf, the guy you got hit for looking like. And yeah, man, I’m sorry. I’m just really sorry.” And he was like “Keep your head up, G.” And that was it.”

See, it sucks to be Shia some days (or even look like him) but he’s not a bad guy.

(T/Y Tad; via Gothamist)