Aw hell no.

Life is too damn short for this.

A cereal version of the popular candy Sour Patch Kids was released the day after Christmas exclusively to Wal*Mart stores until July 2019 when it will then be available elsewhere.

Now, it’s a well-established FACT that people who like Sour Patch Kids are usually violent psychopaths. It’s true. (Michael Alig is a big fan). And the idea of mixing them with MILK is something only a psychotic product development executive would come up with. I mean, DOES THE MILK GET SOUR? IS THAT A SELLING POINT? SOUR MILK? REALLY?

The Washington Post agrees, it’s an unholy union of flavors:

“Sour” and “milk” are two words that food companies and consumers typically don’t want to see together. Yet somehow, Post forged ahead with this candy-flavored cereal even though the company is asking you to pay money to do to your milk what bacteria would do for free. The cereal is the same size and shape as candy Sour Patch Kids, and tastes like Froot Loops. But it’s dusted with that familiar Sour Patch sour sugar, which quickly dissolves into the milk.

The problem with this cereal is not just that it makes the milk sour — thus depriving you of cereal milk, one of life’s simplest pleasures — but also that it opens up a portal to hell regarding What Foods Can be Other Foods.

It used to be that only chocolate junk food, such as Oreos and Chips Ahoy, were acceptable breakfast cereals. Now that we have Sour Patch cereal, what’s next? Will there be Jelly Belly cereal? Twizzlers oatmeal? Laffy Taffy granola? Pop Rocks yogurt? In both the breakfast aisle and the Sour Patch, all the moral strictures of society have dissolved.

Anyway, here are some people dong taste tests. (Comments range from “This is not as upsetting as I thought it would be” to “It tastes like a sour Froot Loop”)