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You are here: Home / Misc / No more Brit in Britney

No more Brit in Britney

By Stephen Saban on December 14, 2004 11:33 pm

britneydogR091204_450x410.jpg
That’s not a real dog!

That’s it. WOW London officially joins the anti-Spears brigade.

WOW London is not ashamed to admit to being a closet Britney fan. It was the pigtails in her first video that probably did it. And we know that she’s done some weird things, perfected being trailer trash and made, shall we say, some rather questionable decisions in her private life.

WOW London was even prepared to overlook the suicide in the bath thing, which was totally irresponsible. At the end of the day, she makes catchy pop songs, and if she chooses to marry a guy who wears wife-beaters, it’s none of our business. It doesn’t stop WOW London humming along to “Toxic.”

But, and it’s a huge but, she has gone down, nay plummeted, in WOW London’s estimation this week.

Crime No 1 – a story ran a few days ago, revealing that she took her shoes off on a ‘plane, and her feet were so smelly that other passengers complained. First of all, pop stars are not allowed to smell. It’s just not right. Second, what kind of person gets on a long haul flight without showering first?! WOW London always thinks of fellow passengers’ welfare, and we expect Britney to do the same!

So, with her credibility dented, today’s news story was just the final straw. The London Evening Standard is reporting that La Spears took her new dog (shudderingly named Bit-bit), to a posh restaurant. That’s crime number 2. DOGS DO NOT EAT IN RESTAURANTS, OK?! And then, she buys the dog a steak, cooked by one of America’s top chefs, for $180. ONE FREAKIN’ HUNDRED AND EIGHTY FREAKIN’ DOLLARS!!! I give you, crime number three, your honour, and WOW London runs a strict three and you’re out policy, M’lud!

Dear American friends, don’t get me wrong. WOW London, like all Brits, loves dogs. Even runty little ones like Bit-bit that, strictly speaking, shouldn’t really qualify as proper dogs. And I have no problem with the idea of extravagance – if you can afford it, I don’t care if you spend a million bucks on a steak. But giving a gourmet cooked steak to a dog? It’s just rude.

– Barry Shaverin

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