“I don’t do that [have sex] unless I’m in a relationship. I’m old-fashioned when it comes to that. I really am!” said Paris Hilton to Australian Cosmopolitan. “Yes, I’ve kissed a lot of guys. I like to kiss, but that’s it. I don’t go home with anyone. I sleep with my animals, like my baby monkey, Brigitte Bardot.” How much longer is Hilton going to delude herself with that coy, virginal, “old-fashioned” image of herself? My nana is old-fashioned. Paris is not. That’s because to the best of my knowledge my nana has never been fucked from behind in a night-vision sex tape. (The Scoop)

– Steven Corfe