11:05AM Read on Oh No They Didn’t that CNN put out a false statement on their news ticker that Nicole Richie “checked into rehab for an eating disorder,” which Nicole immediately responded to on her MySpace page. Feel sorry for the poor CNN bitch who fed that story into the ticker. Wait, Nicole Richie has a MySpace page?

11:07AM Check out Nicole Richie’s MySpace page. Horrible colors. Nice pics. Only 4,996 friends?

11:10AM Wonder what kind of people make it into Nicole Richie’s Top 16 friends. Check out MASHA’s profile. Privileged bitches, by all accounts.

11:13AM Find this pic of MASHA partying with Nicole and Mischa Barton. Really hope the outfits are tongue-in-cheek. You can never tell with Mischa.

11:15AM Discover that Nicole had her first ever Rosh Hashana dinner over at MASHA’s. Wonder if she ate anything. She really thought it was called Rosh Soshana? And what was she doing up at 2:36AM?

11:19AM Ask Nicole Richie to be my MySpace friend. Maybe she’ll come on Ring My Bell once she’s out of rehab.

– Steven Corfe