To promote his book, La Dolce Musto, a collection of his Village Voice “La Dolce Musto” columns, Michael Musto, the original gay gossip gansta (outing celebrities since 1984!), interviews himself in his own column. It’s a dangerous concept, like when that guy in the Staples commercial uses a coworker’s Easy button to find his own Easy button and causes another coworker to disappear. We wouldn’t want Musto to disappear. Here’s a snippet of his interview:
Do you regret anything you’ve written?
Yes. I wrote something nice once.
I remember that. I think you praised the Broadway musical version of Carrie. Speaking of which, why did you decide to be gay?
It’s not a choice, moron. But I did decide to be openly gay, if that’s what you mean. I can’t exactly pass for straight—and besides, I wanted to be honest about everything so I’d be free to dissect celebrities’ personal lives without hypocrisy. I’ve even written columns about my seizure disorder and my slut phase (which I’m starting to think were interrelated).
Your constant public gyrations would certainly seem to suggest so. Why aren’t celebrities themselves more willing to flounce out of closets?
They’re squeamish and career-driven and usually are surrounded by people —often gay themselves— who feel coming out isn’t an option because it might diminish their 10 percent of the pie. But I always felt if these stars stopped acting like being gay is such an unspeakable horror, their fans would follow suit. For years I screeched in print at Rosie O’Donnell for being so publicly ambiguous—but then she finally came out with an explosion of potpourri and flannel, called me a gay Nazi, and became the biggest in-your-face dyke since Eleanor Roosevelt. And this little Nazi faygeleh is thrilled. Like I said, the landscape’s changing.
(Musto/Musto photo by Josh Gosfield)