Last November, Broward County Police arrested Richard Henry Patterson, 65, and charged him with second-degree murder in the death of his girlfriend Francisca Martinez.

Patterson allegedly admitted that he choked Marquinez to death, but has declined to explain what the circumstances were. And here’s where it gets interesting. He claims she choked to death, NOT that she was strangled. And there are no marks or bruising around her neck consistent with strangling.

Now, his lawyer is arguing that she accidentally choked to death while performing oral sex on his client and wants the judge to allow Patterson to show the jury his humungous penis as evidence for his defense, according to the Florida Sun-Sentinel.

The lawyer says he’s hoping for a hung jury.

That is, if there isn’t a gag order.

Ba dum dum.

(Sorry. Inappropriate humor. And I stole those jokes from the HuffPo comment section).

Anyway.

Via HuffPo:

Investigators first learned of the death when a neighbor called police after she knocked on Marquinez’s door and Patterson answered.

He claimed Marquinez was sleeping.

When officers arrived, they found her body lying face down on a bed. Investigators said she had been dead for between eight and 24 hours, according to Local10.com.

Detectives found a blood stain on a door in the living room, as well as a bag in the kitchen that contained tissues and paper towels stained with blood and semen.

One of her fingers had blood on it, and it appeared that someone had tried to clean it.

According to an arrest warrant, Patterson sent vague text messages to his daughter on the same day the body was discovered.

“Your dad did something really bad last night and I’m so so sorry,” he wrote, according to the Florida Sun-Sentinel.

An autopsy on Marquinez showed no signs of trauma or bruises on her neck, but noted that her body was in an early stage of decomposition, so some bruising was more difficult to detect with certainty.

Padowitz said if the judge balks at Patterson dropping drawers in the courtroom, he’d consider introducing a mold of his client’s penis as evidence.

New York-based criminal defense lawyer Stephanie Legros-Willis calls Padowitz’s request “quite absurd and unheard of,” but admits it could work.

“Although bizarre, this may aid in the defense of Patterson, as according to the autopsy, there was no signs of trauma and no bruises to her neck,” she told HuffPost by email. However, it must be taken into consideration how the jurors may react to this type of defense.