

Yesterday, the Metropolitan Transportation Authority’s board formally banned defecating on its subways, buses and transit facilities. It had already vaguely been barred under current rules, which subject any rider to a $100 fine for “create[ing] a nuisance, hazard, or unsanitary condition (including, but not limited to, spitting or urinating).” — but this new rule specifically adds “defecating” to the list of bodily expulsions.
“MTA rules are periodically tweaked to enhance clarity, and that’s the case with the addition of more descriptive language,” MTA spokesman Tim Minton said in a statement.
“Ensuring the transportation system provides an appropriate quality of life experience for our workforce and customers is a guiding principle and top priority.”
Twitter, of course, has some thoughts.
Was it… was it okay to poop on the subway before?https://t.co/T5sBZF4VJi
— Bennett (@Bennett140) September 24, 2020
Come on, pooping on the subway is part of the authentic New York City experience! https://t.co/yqeQz7wWPa
— SomeMaskedWahoo (@SomeWahoo) September 24, 2020
The New York subway was built in 1904
— The Cheese (@thecheesefeed) September 24, 2020
It took 116 years for them to decide pooping on the seats was a bad idea? https://t.co/qreH52z6t5
Great so now where do I poop when I'm on the subway? On the tracks with the mole people. nice job MTA https://t.co/Uljo17otnf via @nypmetro
— Jim Gisriel (@JimmFORCE) September 24, 2020
Sorry, all I can think about is that 20 years from now some kid might be looking at an @MTA timeline and see “2020: Pooping banned on the subway” and the kid will think prior to 2020 we all got to work every day absolutely covered in poop
— lauren vega 🗽🌷 (@lauxvega) September 24, 2020
NYC after MTA bans pooping on the subway https://t.co/3YwkJxhKpP pic.twitter.com/ICWMKTTleP
— 𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕤 (@ProNessNess) September 23, 2020
What kind of anarchist state bans pooping on the subway?
— Shalyah Evans (@ShalyahEvans) September 23, 2020
First they get rid of peep shows in Times Square, now no pooping in the subway. What’s next?! Million dollar studi….oh
— Elizabeth S. (@ElizabethStehle) September 23, 2020
when pooping on the subway is a crime, only criminals will poop on the subway…
— Dr. Capitalism's™ Premium Boot Salt® (Fauna!) (@Cryofauna) September 23, 2020
And of course, these very good points:
Of course no one wants anyone pooping on the subway, but the people who are doing that are not people who can pay $100 fines. This is just another attempt to criminalize homelessness and mental illness rather than supporting people in need.
— Taylor (@TayTayPrice) September 24, 2020
Ya know what would ACTUALLY ban pooping on the subway? Adequate public restrooms.
— Amy Hughey (@amyhughey) September 23, 2020
Signed someone extremely anti pooping on the subway who just thinks people should be able to go to the goddamned bathroom when needed even if (gasp) they’re homeless.
Other new rules that seem to target the homeless include requiring riders to exit subway cars at the end of the line, banning people from lingering in subway stations for more than an hour and barring riders from bringing large shopping carts on trains….
(Photos: Pixabay)