Fetch a caraffe of mimosas and clutch it close to your bosom because here’s my top 5 reasons Episode VII is (possibly the best in the series?) out of this world.
*WARNING: DO NOT READ FURTHER IF YOU DON’T WANT SPOILED MILK IN YOUR MILKY WAY.*
5) JJ ABRAMS CLEANS UP
Rarely when we revisit something is it as epic as the original. However – dispose the garbage pile that was Episodes II and III (don’t worry, I said it first, so you won’t have to!) – hiring JJ Abrams to clean up the travesty that was Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith was the best decision Disney has made since…well…since George Lucas sold Lucas Films (and the entirety of the billion dollar Star Wars franchise) TO Disney.
Slaying the 90’s as a TV showrunner, Abrams communicates a closeness (and a likeness) with characters and the audience quicker than film directors because he understands we have less time to care, frankly.
Although there’s a built-in 40 year phenomenal relationship with Star Wars, we’re instantly sucked back into the force and our friends in outer space that we know (or are introduced to) and love because rather than having an epic beginning, middle, and end, Abrams treats it literally like one big TV episode and gives you everything at once.
4) ADAM DRIVER
I made the executive decision to not read much about the reboot because call me old fashioned, but some things – legendary things, to be exact – deserve legendary reactions. And when Kylo Ren has his unmasking moment, I literally reacted like this:
And then because I think cinematically, I half expected Hannah Horvath to pop out and be like, “Kylo, I am your Mother.” #GirlsStarWarsCrossover
3) LEIA AND HAN’S HIGH SCHOOL REUNION
They may not have invented post-its, but they did invent a 40 year are-they-together-aren’t-they-together relationship IN outer space, no less! There’s something about seeing them (along with a sleu of the OG Scooby group – R2D2, C-P3O, Chewbacca, etc.) all together that can only be described as peering into the Mirror of Erised and having it scream back in euhorphic enjoyment.
2) GIRL POWER
Seeing a badass protagonist – a female Jedi-to-be – killing it in the galaxy is SO important to the cause – considering the original Star Wars was dominated – DOOMinated as I see it – by the male gaze four decades ago.
1) GAY FOR SPACE
Not because he’s a black stormtrooper, and not because he is making all the old school white folks’ butt hurt (which it’s TIME for all those old timey’s to get with the times – LITERALLY – it’s *almost* 2016), because I think he and Poe are in love.
This post approved by the original ghost of Christmas past: