I’m having a crisis of faith concerning this post. Here’s the thing: Whenever I see a picture of Israeli socialite Hofit Golan on a red carpet somewhere, I get SO EXCITED I almost pee my pants. I couldn’t tell you why. I’m just built that way. Silly socialites send me OVER THE MOON. And yet I KNOW none of you feel the same way. That’s her in the gold strappy thingie. Does she excite you? Did you gasp when you saw her? How about the woman next to her: British model and socialite Cara Delevingne of the LEGENDARY Delevingne Sisters? Did you get a tingle in your naughty bits when you read her name? I did. And look, there’s grizzled playwright Tom Stoppard! And model/blogger Laura Bailey in perhaps the most god-awful Chanel gown I’ve ever seen! (“Chanel gives you wiiiiiiiings.”) But do any of these pictures bring you the same joy they bring me? Do you care AT ALL about red carpet culture? Why, then, do I continue to post pictures of these people day in and day out? Why do I post anything? Why am I even here? As I said: I’m having a total existential meltdown over this post. Who knew Hofit Golan could drive a man to MADNESS?