King Tut’s penis is missing! King Tut’s penis is missing! Sound the alarms! Yes, somebody snatched that dusty old mummy cock right off the body! Can you believe it? Maybe it was done to hide the fact that he was less-than endowed. Maybe it was during a “brutal autopsy.” Either way, it opens the doors for a sea of Egyptian-themed puns. “They were actually looking for his sphinxter,” says one Gawker commenter. “It’s hanging off his chin,” said another. Oh ha ha ha ha. All I know: IT WASN’T ME. No, really. I swear. What would I want with the boy king’s dick? (via My Fox Phoenix)