Yes, the Met Ball was last night. The Oscar‘s of getting dressed. The Superbowl of fashion. It brought out all of the bitchiness the internet (& basic bitches) love. People do LOVE to be appalled, shocked, outraged, but please, just don’t bore us. Most people want to be safe, to look pretty (or handsome), have a little edge and just glide on into the party. (Nice entrance, Met!) Then there are the the attention grabbing media whores we love…
Let’s start off with the woman who started it all, the most quotable, Oscar Wilde-style, Diana Vreeland. She took the musty old Met and shook it up with her idea of how to show historical fashion… her openings for the Costume Institute, as it used be called were THE East Coast parties of every year. Now it’s turned into THIS, and her name has been replaced by Anna Wintour‘s; HRH, Queen of the Fashion Universe. Just keep DV in mind …
“A little bad taste is like a nice splash of paprika. We all need a splash of bad taste—it’s hearty, it’s healthy, it’s physical. I think we could use more of it. No taste is what I’m against. – Diana Vreeland”
EXEMPT FROM JUDGEMENT
China: Through the Looking Glass is the exhibit title. That was a general theme, if you like, which has thousands of years of history to pull from… ignore it if you want. Madonna doesn’t need your theme, thank you and there are a handful of others where the rules just do NOT apply. Cher, Lady Gaga, SJP are three more that do just what they want and in my book are allowed a lifetime pass from criticism. (RuPaul & Dolly Parton, if they showed up would be in that category too, btw.) Grace Coddington (second from left) belongs, as well. Vogue‘s chief fashion editor wore Chinese pjs. This woman IS Vogue and is beyond ANY kind of criticism in my book.
LADIES IN RED
The boss lady Anna Wintour wore red, as did half of the crowd, like Alison Williams, but really no one better than Helen Mirren. ProsKaren Elson, Karolina Kurkova and Poppy Delevingne rocked ruby red and made the rest look like amateurs. Amal Clooney has AMAZING fashion instincts for what she can pull off, like this ruffled gown. Rita Ora came with, and in, Tom Ford and never looked better. And then there’s Kris Jenner who looks like someone’s Mom at a Chinese-themed costume party… wait?!
There are gals who provided just what DV was describing. Donatella Versace and her date Jennifer Lopez (who no doubt was paid to wear this… you think she does THIS for free?) were one same sex couple of the night you couldn’t ignore in red on the red. NPH and husband David Burtka took the prize for tailored, proper tail gentlemen. And hetero couple of the night? A tie between Diane Kruger in Chanel with husband Joshua Jackson and the fashion-forward FKA Twigs in Christopher Kane with fiancé, Robert Pattinson.
BEST DRESSED MEN
Lots of good-looking well tuned out men but the three stood out. You got the handsomest young man at any party, Ansel Elgort in a perfectly tailored tux, Miguel in fashion forward red and the unexpectedly hip-looking Larry David on a night off from his Broadway play, Fish in the Dark.
Well, Kim Kardashian apparently borrowed Cher’s old Bob Mackie and stretched it ALL out (she’s gonna be pissed!) while Katy Perry is just a contrarian. This (Chinese-themed) year she wore this Jeremy Scott graffiti gown (with cute spray can purse and matching date, Jeremy Scott) and to the punk exhibit in 2013 she wore this Dolce & Gabbana number? OK, she WANTS to be exempt from the rules, but to me, hasn’t quite earned it yet. One day, maybe. Another Katie (Holmes) proved that a bob doesn’t ALWAYS work, JLaw in Dior underwhelms me (is that a necklace or part of the dress?) and the Olsen gal’s dresses are theirs, I’m sure, but this creepy twin pose is going to look very Baby Jane in about 5 minutes. Are your smiles THAT bad, kids?
Sorry, Rihanna. That look is SPECTACULAR –for the 1950s, but this is 2015 and if you wear fur, you get on the WORST DRESSED list. Fur is tacky, not to mention cruel. I wish others would call her out on it too. Fake would have worked just as well. The other runners up are easy… Chloe Grace Moretz, Constance Jablonski and Grimes look like they wandered into the wrong event from their oh-so casual lives. WTF, gals? Do you NOT know any gays? Dylan Lauren in pink (with that famous fashion Dad) has Dylan’s Candy Bar (is there one in New Jersey?) and she wore it last night. Miley Cyrus, this is just a miss. We love you but we know you can do better. Next year. And the punchline to any joke, Justin Beiber. The jacket is admittedly great but the rest is just bad. Just pretend it’s his CC Roast. Go!
This one is tough, but I think you gotta give it to these gals, not necessarily totally thematic but Rosie Huntington-Whitely (THE most beautiful woman in the world?), Emma Roberts and Emily Blunt killed it, head-to-toe, in these perfect looks. Runners up; the gorgeous Kendall Jenner and Ivanka Trump in Yves Klein blue. But if you want to give it up, Beyoncé was the superstar show-stopper that we live for and expect. Yellow fur be damned, this is BEY-ond. Sister Solange, in Giles Deacon gets an A+ for effort (that arm posing) and innovation. But unfortunately, my word is not law and you might disagree, that’s why they call it the internet. Well, fashion is SUPPOSED to be fun and if you take this TOO seriously, I think you are missing the point altogether, right Ru?
“Rise up and be fearless like a Maasai warrior. Stake your claim in this lifetime. Remember who you really are. Unleash the dragon and let these bitches have it!” –RuPaul