How I Met Molly Shannon At Walgreen’s And Became BFFs

Friday, July 1 – 11:30PM: “Can you pull over right here?” My friend, Martin, asked our uber driver outside the Walgreen’s on Magnolia. We were half in the bag after sake and sushi (and the other two bars we had gone to) and I was leaving for Palm Springs the next day for my friend’s golden birthday and REALLY needed to stop at the drug store. Prior to the weekend’s festivities, my other friend, Sakari, had given me a tip that Walgreen’s (or Rite Aid) had Fourth of July sequins cowgirl hats (naturally) and I thought that would be a fun contribution to my weekend-away-in-Palm-Springs for my friend’s 30th.

Hobbling out of the car, I bid my friend farewell and without realizing the production crew and gigantic stage light (remember, I was MANY drinks deep), I waltzed into the drug store and begin peeling my eyes for these so-called festive hats. Immediately, I recognized her voice: Sister Mary Catherine Gallagher.

It was:

I whipped my head around and there she was in all her porcelain glory: Molly Shannon. With those famous dimples and twinkle in her eye, she was chatting with three other women, clad in a hot pink frock and looking AMEEZING.

I noticed a PA standing not to far from them. For those of you non-Hollywood folk, if someone is dressed like Rachel from Unreal, they’re probably a PA…(sorry, not sorry)

I’ve had my years on set so when the PA said they had twenty minutes, I assumed they were setting up new lighting. The other three actresses – from what I gathered – made their way to the bathroom, but Molly knew that the celebrity celestial gods needed her to come talk to me, one of her biggest fans. Molly looked RIGHT at me and without skipping a beat, I whispered: “I love you so much.”

She replied, “I love you so much too.”

And then like two swans orchestrating a synchronized swim routine, we made our way towards one another, which totally had to have been in slow motion by the way, and we hugged like old friends. I told her I was having a “life moment” (LOL, what?) and that I grew up loving her on SNL.

You know when someone compliments someone and the person is sort of like:

Well, Molly Shannon is NOT that person. She reached for her chest (near her heart), smirked, and kept thanking me. In the course of the next five minutes (felt like a blur), we discussed her entire filmography.

From Wet Hot American Summer:

To Never Been Kissed:

To Year of the Dog:

And then (duh), Superstar:

She helped me pick out a gift for my friend (a $30 McDonald’s gift card that she “blessed” – my friend REALLY likes Micky D’s breakfast, don’t be a hater!), we discussed our love for Lena Dunham, and about her upcoming project “Other People” that will close this year’s Outfest.

The movie she was filming at Walgreen’s was Fun Mom Dinner with Toni Collette. (Don’t worry, Toni wasn’t there but if she was, I would’ve lost my goddamn mind).

Molly possesses that rare star quality where she is highly recognizable (beyond her humor, she has longevity in her legendary career and we’ve practically grown up with all her characters), but she’s also deeply personal and intimate. I actually felt like after the twenty minutes or so that I spent with her, that I was taking up her entire break, but she never once flinched to get me to move/leave/etc. We had taken a horrible selfie when I first showed up – which was blurry AF – so she said we needed to take new ones so I had the one I wanted. Can she be ANY nicer?! Go out and support Outfest and look for her new project ‘Other People’ coming to Netflix soon.