In his new Showtime special, Have You Heard of Christmas? comedian Matt Rogers makes the yuletide REALLY gay.
Matt sings,
Every year, Santa knows just what to say
When all of the elves claim the bag’s way too tight
And maybe we shouldn’t do this tonight
Nobody asks why Santa has so much lube.”
It’s one of the first of Rogers’s original songs in the special. The opening number’s lyrics are an ever-more explicit description of hooking up;
Intoxicate
Alleviate
I want to feel you
from inside”
And then, the chorus;
Also it’s Christmas!
Did I mention that it’s Christmas in this club?”
