In Swindon, UK, police were called to a furniture store after getting calls of a man shouting and disturbing customers in the parking lot. That’s where they discovered cutie-patootie Joshua Hare, STARK NAKED and causing a fuss. They promptly arrested him, and took him into custody. Once in jail, they began to notice… wait for it… wait for it… “a baggie containing white powder ‘emerging‘ from his foreskin.”
Yes, with his impending arrest and few options available, Joshua hid his coke stash in his penis tip – 7.2 grams of the stuff, in fact.
HuffPo, not surprisingly, had an absolute field day with the story.
“Hiding cocaine in your foreskin?” they wrote. “Now that takes balls.”
“It’s not a stretch to say that a foreskin isn’t the first place one would think of hiding drugs.”
Oh ha ha ha ha.
From the rest of the story:
Hare’s attorney, Nick Redhead, told the court that his client is homeless and has a troubled background, substance abuse problems, possible mental health issues and suffered kidney issues when in police custody earlier this year after being arrested for aggravated taking of a vehicle without consent, reported the Swindon Advertiser.
“He fell into a coma and thought he was going to die,” Redhead said. “The damage to him as such is he is a high risk of killing himself if he continues to misuse alcohol. He has managed to stay away from alcohol pretty much.”
Prosecutor Keith Ballinger said Hare was last in court in May to answer the vehicle theft charges and was given a suspended sentence at that time, according to reported the Sunday World.
On Tuesday, Hare pleaded guilty to both the drug charge and failing to surrender to bail, according to Metro.
Redhead hoped magistrates would take his client’s troubled background into consideration when sentencing his client.
As punishment, the Swindon Magistrates’ Court activated the 12-week suspended sentence he had been given in May, according to the Sun.