Randy Barbato rates some of the women of last night’s Grammys [and his opinions do not necessarily reflect those of the WOW Report editor; in fact, they don’t at all, except for what he says about Mary J Blige].
MARIAH CAREY – Everything about her performace was perfection. The voice. All that insane hair! Those thighs. The crazy dress that accentuated those thighs! The bloated face. The way she moves. I realized last night that Mariah moves across the stage like a sandcrab. Think about it, she plants herself in one space then – BAM – she scurries across to another part, sings a bit, then – BAM – scurries across again. For me last night, Mariah crossed over to iconic status (think baby Aretha). The only disappointment was that she didn’t win Record of the Year. C’mon, people. I can understand her not getting Album or Song, but not Record? (Watch her sing)
MADONNA – Nothing about Madonna’s performance was good. OK, doing the bus stop was fun. Otherwise, it was all sick and wrong. Enough with the tap dancing body suit AND the out-of-control Valerie Cherish hair flip. And that popper/orgy dance moment was just embarrassing! Madonna has become a desperate housewife.
TERI HATCHER – But not as desperate as Teri hatcher and her underwear. I don’t need to see that! And was she slurring her words?
CHRISTINA AGUILERA – Every female in Hollywood ought to be chasing up Christina’s people RIGHT NOW. I have never seen Christina look so flawless. The hair, the eyes, the dress, that big fat ring on her finger!
MARY J BLIGE – Sometimes Mary can sound so off. That’s part of her charm. Its easy to imagine her sitting on a stoop, with a 40-ounce, and a Kool in her hand. It’s that roughness and that unpredictability that makes her voice so special… except for last night. She just never got on top of the note, she struggled from the moment she hit the stage, and those tight satin pants didnt help! It really bummed me out, because it could have been the biggest moment of her career. I think everyone wanted that. The good news is that we will get to look forward to another opportunity for her to have a bigger moment. And I’m certain she will.
– Randy Barbato