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You are here: Home / Misc / Lohan on the Phone

Lohan on the Phone

By WOW Staff on January 17, 2007 8:02 pm

Steven Corfe writes: After reading that OK! magazine scored a behind-the-rehab-gates, not-particularly-juicy telephone interview with Lindsay Lohan shortly after she checked into rehab, I decided to get to the root of the hysteria and have a quiet chat with Lindsay myself. Not having her cell phone number, I called the rehab facility under false pretenses. Here, exclusively for the WOW Report, is the transcription of my phone conversation with Lindsay Lohan.

Lohanonthephone

WOW: (ring ring)

Wonderland: (recorded message) Thank you for calling Wonderland Treatment Center. For admissions or immediate assistance, please press ‘0’.

WOW: (presses ‘0’)

Wonderland: Hello, Wonderland Treatment Center.

WOW: Hi. I need to speak to someone there.

Wonderland: Certainly. Do you have a problem we can try and help you with?

WOW: Not exactly. Yes. I have an addiction.

Wonderland: Well, that’s very brave, sir, it’s a big step admitting. Can I take your name first of all?

WOW: Before that, I actually need to speak to someone in your facility. She recommended it, you see.

Wonderland: Ah. I see. We’ve had lots of recommendations this morning. Does that certain someone go by the name Ms Lohan?

WOW: Yes! You know my friend.

Wonderland: Oh, I know your friend. And did Ms Lohan tell you what room she’s staying in?

WOW: No.

Wonderland: Because I’m going to need to know a room to connect you.

WOW: Yes. I think she said 302?

Wonderland: 302? That’s strange, our rooms have names, not numbers.

WOW: Oh yes. She said 302, the… Serenity room.

Wonderland: Ms Lohan in 302 the Serenity room.

WOW: Yes.

Wonderland: And who should I tell Ms Lohan is calling?

WOW: An old friend.

Wonderland: Unfortunately, the recovery program she’s on forbids calls from friends for the first week.

WOW: I mean I’m more like family really.

Wonderland: Family.

WOW: Yes. It’s her mom. Dina. Lohan.

Wonderland: OK. I’m hanging up sir.

WOW: Please! Let me speak to my daughter!

Wonderland: Goodbye sir.

WOW: Please! SHE NEEDS HER DRUGS!

Wonderland: (click)

– Steven Corfe


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