We are nearly a quarter of the way through 2019, and we have yet to see the much anticipated Mueller Report, and why we weren’t paying attention, the current administration of crazies and corrupt have been chipping away at our liberties. But, if you haven’t been too busy, you should be having at least your 50th orgasm of the year, according to Dr. Oz. Tonight is the 83rd night of the year, so climaxing once a week is just not going to cut it. So, if you have a countdown and you haven’t reached blast-off, find a partner, or remember there’s something for everyone on that Internet deal, so get Googling and get-off.
Dr. Oz explains that when you have an orgasm, a hormone called Dehydroepiandrosterone is released. It increases immunity and repairs tissue, keeping your skin aglow. A recent study shows that men who have at least five orgasms a week live longer than men who have shoot just once every few weeks.
For women about to have an orgasm, the level of a hormone named Oxytocin increases by five times. It’s an endorphin, and it actually reduces aches and pains. So gay girls, after a softball game, remember to reach those special places and treat yourself to a home run.
Dr. Oz writes that you need 200 orgasms a year for optimal health. Spread them out. We don’t need you frantically running around like a hormonal teenager trying to have 153 orgasms on December 31st. These little tid-bits of knowledge come to us via Dr. Oz’s YOU: The Owner’s Manual, Updated And Expanded Edition: An Insider’s Guide To The Body That Will Make You Healthier And Younger (2013). And, there’s loads more.
(photos from the collection of S.Rutledge)