people think that just because i live in a cave that i dont get to watch television. wrong. tho’ the satellite service can be a bit erratic. so i missed my favorite show Oprahs Favorite Things and had to have a tape of the show fedexed to me. i guess my favorite thing had to be the Douney and Bourke purple snakeskin duffle bag – perfect for when you have to pack in a rush. i already have the flat screen tv, but i’ll be sure to order the lollia bath bubbles with essential oils and nourishing properties. oprah be praised!
last night i tuned into MANHUNT originally thinking that it was about me. but then i learned it was another decadent american reality show. Unlike the rest of the viewing infidels i found myself kind of addicted, specially to kevin, who was – to use the american phrase – embedded with the other male models. . . so imagine my surprise last night when he came out of hiding. . . “I’m not who you think i am” quoth he. i could SO relate. and i had no idea that he was one of the founders and executive vice president of AMP, the Association of Modelling Professionals. such talent. when i invade the States i’ll have to embed him.
finally i read in the new york times that the israelis have launched an apprentice-style reality show to find an ambassador to improve their image around the world. great idea! ive decided to launch with my own reality show: Americas Next Top Terrorist. Hopefuls will have to endure a gruelling programme at one of my al qaeda training camps, and each week one person will be eliminated. really eliminated. the winner will be the person who can blow themselves (and as many other people as possible) in the most spectacular fashion. prizes include 99 virgins etc.
– Osama bin Laden