Moye Ishimoto writes:
So I missed Earth Day (last weekend), Administrative Assistants Day (sorry, Corfe) and Immigration Protest Day (4 days ago) but TODAY is the best day of all, because it’s CHILDREN’S DAY. At least, in Japan and possibly in Little Tokyo downtown, where no one really goes anymore unless they’re really old or trying to be all hip or just have some gross fetish.
A long, long time ago in the age when ninjas and samurais roamed the earth, May 5th was known as Boy’s Day and they’d throw a huge festival for boys and each family would display awesome warrior dolls (otherwise known as “action figures”). But then everyone realized that boys drool, girls rule, and everyone should be included (aside from the fact that girls already get their own day in March, but whatever. Boys stink! Throw rocks at them!).
Now, thanks to increasing gender equality in the workforce, the whole point of the day is to celebrate children’s growth, welfare and happiness and, in Japan, they fly these carp flags for some reason. Maybe sushi? I don’t know, but it’s super cute. Mmm, sushi. But be careful, because someone important just informed me that the mercury levels in raw fish are dangerously high, so we shouldn’t really be eating it. Which I think is totally unfair because it really is good and someone has a personal vendetta against me because all of my favorite kinds of sushi are apparently super high in methylmercury and people are probably just biased against Japanese people, because you don’t see anyone sending out warnings about eating HAMBURGERS when everyone’s getting mad cow disease. Seriously, what is this website anyway? It’s called SeaTurtles.org which OBVIOUSLY have nothing to do with sushi or methylmercury so why don’t they just go spend their time stopping the sea turtles from eating sushi instead of wasting our time. Ugh. Anyway.
I don’t have any kids and I’m still the baby in my family, so this day will heretofore be referred to as MOYE’S DAY. HAPPY MOYE DAY.
– Moye Ishimoto