Miss Teen USA’s current reigning queen (and real-life proof that you can say crazy racist stuff if you’re a white girl AND hey! We’ll let you keep the tiara too!), Karlie Hay, issued a (cringe-worthy) apology on Good Morning America today that will leave you feeling like Kristen Wiig’s drunken interpretation of messy Cinderella.
Let’s do this, hunties:
In a sit-down with GMA’s George Stephanopoulos, George states that what people want most from Hay is a formal apology.
To which she starts out saying: “Yes, I am very sorry and embarrassed…and ashamed…and I’ve grown up from that fifteen year old girl who used that type of language.”
Initial reaction: Type? Is there a particular type of racism? I didn’t know there were particular classifications for whether you’re a dumb racist or a dumbass racist? Like, it’s the “N” word. It’s not a specific “type” of language.
NOW, if she could speak Parseltongue, I would tip my witches’ hat to her.
She goes on to say: “it hurts me…”
Initial reaction: Oh, oh, let’s make this MORE about you.
She continues with: “At one point in my life I used that language and I know that wasn’t me.”
And I’m like: But. You…said…it?
I digress. She goes on to say: “At that age, I was being a follower and I was trying to fit in with my friends and it was the type of music we listened to and I had no guidance.”
Me: What. Kind. Of. Reverse. Responsibility. Is. THIS?!
She continues: “When that tweet came up I was kind of amazed.”
And I’m like: Ohhhhhhhh…you are? Are you?
She continues: “I’ve grown since then. I’ve blossomed.”
And I’m all: DON’T BRING BLOSSOM INTO THIS!
Seriously?!
And then she concludes with: “I’ve learned through every obstacle that you can turn a negative into a positive and that hopefully others will learn from my mistake of using this type of language.”
OK but: WILL. YOU. STOP. SAYING. “THIS. TYPE!”
Seriously, stop.
Although it was heartfelt and sweet, I DO believe the right thing STILL to do would be to take her crown away. Especially in our current dystopic future: the terrifying levity and potential that Trump could become our president is weighing heavily on us everyday. From his day-to-day hate speech to his loyal army of hate-skanks. We have trans women of color dying every day from violence and police brutality. Black lives slain in the streets for “traffic violations.” Alton Sterling, Philandro Castile, and the Black Lives Matter movement…By taking her crown and title away, it would show that the organization and the representation of OUR 2016 (the Obamas have been our BEST first family, EVER! I’m not even gonna let you argue me on that), it would reflect a time that doesn’t tolerate ignorance (whether or not the person is sorry NOW, mind you), and show that in order to create real change, we have to show it. And sometimes, the way you show it is by holding people accountable for their words and actions.
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To conclude, here’s this vintage moment to remind Hay about apologizing:
Oh, and:
GIRL, BYE!
[All images created by Jake Thompson]