Yesterday was a bit of a rollercoaster as news of the coronavirus got progressively darker and more worrisome. There was the NBA cancellation! News that A Quiet Place 2 won’t be opening until fall! And Ellen is doing away with studio audiences! Then… just when we thought it couldn’t get any worse… the absolute gut-wrenching announcement that TOM HANKS and RITA WILSON have tested positive for the virus while in Australia, where Tom was shooting a movie.
NOOOOOOO…. NOT OUR BELOVED HANX!
Wrote Tom on Instagram:
Hello, folks. Rita and I are down here in Australia. We felt a bit tired, like we had colds, and some body aches. Rita had some chills that came and went. Slight fevers too. To play things right, as is needed in the world right now, we were tested for the Coronavirus, and were found to be positive.
Well, now. What to do next? The Medical Officials have protocols that must be followed. We Hanks’ will be tested, observed, and isolated for as long as public health and safety requires. Not much more to it than a one-day-at-a-time approach, no?
We’ll keep the world posted and updated.
Take care of yourselves!
Not to worry, though. Tom and Rita’s son, rapper Chet Haze, was there to set our minds at ease. Quickly doffing his shirt – because that’s what you do in times like this – he took to Twitter to say “Wassup up everyone. Yea, its true my parents got coronavirus. Crazy.” BUT: He just got off the phone with them, they seemed fine, and most importantly “they’re not tripping'” so we shouldn’t either.
Chet Hanks couldn’t find a shirt and he still sounds more presidential than Donald Trump. https://t.co/CjHwqU3w1H— Palmer Report (@PalmerReport) March 12, 2020
And I gotta say… hear me out….He looks pretty damn hot. And yes, I hate myself for saying that, but here we are. The world is ending and Chet Haze is our fine-ass voice of reason.
What do you think? Take me, daddy or Ewww what a d-bag?