So Kimmy is just out riding her bicycle, la la la, showing off her fetching new bangs, when – KERPLOP! –she takes a wicked tumble. Oh no! Oh dear! She’s hurt! She’s UNCONSCIOUS! Suddenly, we are back in the 18th century, because that’s how time travel works. OBVIOUSLY. Kim is now resting on a fainting couch, dressed in a a faaaaaaabulous white lace gown and wearing a powdered wig. The camera lingers on her powdered boobs because no matter what the century, THOSE MAGNIFICENT CHICHIS DEMAND OUR ATTENTION. Then, Inception-like, she is dreaming that she’s in another Marie Antoinette-like get-up (why not?). Then, after a few sips of HYPE Energy drink, she wakes up back in her own time (with those darling little bangs still in tact). BUT WAIT. THERE’S MORE! Suddenly we’re in the future! Maybe! Or just at a Ricardo Tisci photo shoot! Somewhere Kim is wearing a fashion-forward new look. Because if you’re going to do something as tacky as an energy drink commercial, by God, you had better get four or five high-fashion looks out of it.

PS – THAT DIAMOND, THO.