More proof we are living in an altered time line.

A new 96-page romance novel called Tender Wings of Desire from KFC and starring the increasingly multifaceted Colonel Sanders, will available for free on Amazon for a limited time starting this Mother’s Day. Says the fast food company’s marketing director, “it’s a sensual tale dedicated to mothers everywhere and marketed as a a ‘brief escape from motherhood into the arms of your fantasy Colonel.”

Tender Wings of Desire tells the classic tale of a young Victorian bride-to-be – Lady Madeline Parker – who flees her family and a ‘loveless betrothal’ to Duke Reginald. and soon falls into the arms of Harland (aka Colonel Sanders), a ‘handsome sailor with a mysterious past.’ Thus, Madeline must choose between duty and passion.

‘The only thing better than being swept away by the deliciousness of our Extra Crispy Chicken is being swept away by Harland Sanders himself,’ said KFC advertising director George Felix.
In order to promote the book, KFC also premiered a sensual commercial featuring a scruffy shirtless male model reading from the novel.

‘To call their affair passionate was an understatement,’ he says while a fan blows through his long hair.

The cover, as you can see, has a muscly Harlan Sanders carrying a woman in a pink sweater and jeans down a windswept beach, and away from a castle.

Which is just, like….

YES.

I am SO THERE.

Via Daily Mail:

Though this Mother’s Day campaign may seem humorous, there is a genuine business plan behind it all: the holiday is actually the fried chicken restaurant’s busiest day.

According to the company, the chain serves more than 380,000 families on Mother’s Day, which is a 40 per cent spike from regular sales.

Evidently, mothers love their fried chicken (or perhaps just not having to cook for a night) and so Tender Wings of Desire may not be such a half-baked gift idea after all.