Don’t get me wrong, I like Keira Knightley. She’s young, thin and rich, a model of porcelain perfection whom I look up to with admiration. Not even once have I imagined wrapping my hands around that elegant sinewy neck, and shaking it until she daintily coughs up blood. Not once. So can someone please tell me why I just had the most enjoyable 10 minutes of my working day capturing her face into ungainly freeze-frames from a red carpet video? Watch the whole thing here, and see for yourself just how annoying expressive Keira is.