At his weekly “Meeting of International Sodomites” comedian Just Sayre proposes new hanky codes for gay men based on their emotional issues rather than their sexual kinks. Watch the hysterical video after the jump.
Pre-internet, pre-Grindr, and pre-Smartphones, the hanky codes were a shorthand to understanding what another guy wanted or was offering, though the complexity was often confusing. For instance a robin’s egg blue handkerchief meant “69” whereas a teal one referred to”cock and ball torture.” Very different things. And woe be to the guy who misread the color in a darkened back room. Now the hanky code gets a modern update, thanks to comedian Justin Sayre. In his weekly “Meeting of International Sodomites” he proposes to the colors will let everyone know what issues you have, as opposed to what you’re looking for in bed. For instance: Baby blue now means “mother issues,” cobalt blue is now “emotionally withholding,” pink (which used to denote tit torture) will now stand for “engrained homophobia “(“these are the guys who refer to you as ‘dude’ on Grindr when you would prefer to be called ‘her ladyship’… call you ‘fella’ when your given name is Evelyn or Phyllis'”)
We thought about adding a color for “fem identifying” but we, the board, feel as though if you needed a hanky you weren’t doing it right… Teal, which used to mean “cock and ball torture” now means “a problem with collectables”… lavender means “startles easily”… orange means “weird about birthdays”… and olive means “doesn’t like Golden Girls”
Absolutely hysterical. Watch below.