On This Day in History
1513 – Explorer Juan Ponce de Leon claimed Florida for Spain and immediately felt the urge to marry his cousin and shoot beer cans.
1879 – Milk sold in glass bottles for the first time, replacing the need for goat bladders.
1935 – The Works Progress Administration was approved by the US Congress. Dirty pinko commies.
1964 – In Tom Campbell news, the Supremes recorded “Where Did Our Love Go.” The song was their first No. 1 single.
1973 – Pablo Picasso dies at 91. Hundreds of people with signed bar napkins become instant millionaires.
1985 – Phyllis Diller underwent a surgical procedure for permanent eyeliner to eliminate the need for eyelid makeup. The line between very busy and crazy is crossed.
1986 – Clint Eastwood was elected mayor of Carmel, CA. His term as mayor was much like his films: well-crafted and serious with the occasional chimp and/or Bernadette Peters.
1988 – Former U.S. President Reagan aid Lyn Nofzinger was sentenced to prison for illegal lobbying for Wedtech Corp. Just a reminder of the glorious Reagan years.
1990 – Twin Peaks premieres on ABC. Americans somehow OK with a character who talks to a log.
1994 – Kurt Cobain was found dead at the age of 27. He had committed suicide three days before.
1994 – His nostrils rimmed with the white stuff, Darryl Strawberry enters the Betty Ford clinic.
1998 – It was reported that Ronnie Wood had caught on fire aboard a small boat in the islands south of Rio de Janeiro. Keith Richards lit three cigarettes off the flames before thinking to douse him with whiskey.