Not bragging rights, but Madging rights. Yup, got tickets to the May 21st opening night of Madge’s “Confessions” tour. Words cannot describe my excitement. Madge countdown begins right here right now. Actually, it’s already begun with Madonna plonk.

The amazing thing about Madonna is that, like a fine wine, she just gets better with age. Isn’t it ironic that an almost fiftysomething should release the best damned dance album ever? Madonna is the Energizer Bunny. And she’s even learning to krump!

Barely able to contain myself, I headed over for all the latest Madonna stuff on allaboutmadonna.com, then read about her rumored Star Wars role, set list, and limited-edition vinyl remix of Confessions. I was also appalled to learn that grumpy old Elton John called Madonna “a miserable cow” when she declined an invitation to his gay wedding. How dairy moo! Liam Gallagher said, “She ran of out ideas some time back. It’s all so ’80s now.” Duh, doesn’t he get that retro is the new new thing? They are just jealous because they don’t know how to krump.

– Fenton Bailey