• While the world is gearing up for the swine flu pandemic, Parker Posey has come down with Lyme disease. That’s so indie of her.

• Billboard names Beyoncé its Woman of the Year. But what year?

• Lindsay Lohan‘s pretty sure her recent burglary was an inside job because no electronics were taken but her sex tape is missing.

• Madonna likes gypsies, Romania doesn’t.

• Mandy Moore‘s new husband, singer Ryan Adams, will be writing a weekly video-game column for the website The Awl, starting today with a review of Gorf. 

• On a trip to Gibraltar, American Pie star Jason Biggs fought off a so-called ape that tried to bite off his face.

• On Twitter, Pete Wentz laughed at Fall Out Boy bandmate Patrick Stump getting arrested for driving without a license: “Dude, when I said u gotta be the bad dude in fob, I didn’t mean 2 get arrested. How many peeps did u shank in jail?”

• Summer Glau, the sexy robot from the terminated Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, has joined the sexy robots of Dollhouse.

• George Clooney, in Italy with his girlfriend, broke his hand when he slammed his car door on it. “The doctor has given him 30-to-40 more years to live,” said his rep. “And no live animals were harmed during the wrapping of the hand.”

• Oh, and nudes are suddenly not welcome at New York’s Metropolitan Museum of Art.