• Battered husband. Nicole Kidman can’t stand Keith Urban’s toilet behavior. “She doesn’t hit me, but she hates it,” he says

• Batwoman. Rosie O’Donnell hangs upside down to cheer herself up.

• Madonna’s nurturing lap, from whence all good things come, not good enough for child-safety watchdogs.

• Bedside manor. Serious illness hospitalizes Johnny Depp’s seven-year-old daughter Lily-Rose in England.

• The big payback. Bobby Brown paid back the $19,150 bail money Hot 99.5 radio station put up to get him out of jail in return for his cohosting the station’s Kane Show. Brown broke the agreement after 10 minutes.

• Stern observer. Big Moe, Anna Nicole’s bodyguard, found Howard K’s actions just before she died “highly strange.”

• Soothing the savage breast. Hilary Duff lashes out at Nicole Richie in song.