My Interview with a Future Mars Colonist

Last week, the Mars One Project – which hopes to colonize Mars for a reality show in 2024 – announced “round three” of its astronaut candidates. From the initial 202,586 applicants, only 100 hopefuls have been selected to proceed to the next round of the selection process. And – HOLY CRAP! – my hunky friend Brad Moore was ONE OF THE CHOSEN HUNDRED. I’ve interviewed him after the jump about what it will be like becoming one of the first humans on Mars.

JAMES ST JAMES: Let’s assume you’re going to picked, because why wouldn’t you be? You’re PERFECT! Tell me, what are you going to miss the most about earth?
BRAD MOORE: If I’m perfect, it’s because I learned from the best. (Yes, JSJ, I’m talking about you. And my mom.) I think I’ll miss nature the most: lakes, forests… Long walks through mist and fog… Butterflies. Autumn.

If you can only bring five things with you, what will they be?
My Wonder Woman comics. My Babylon 5 dvds. Coconut Oil. White Tea. Laphroaig whisky.

Any regrets about your time on this planet?
Things (and people) I’d do differently: yes. Regrets: no.

What’s the most exciting thing about living on Mars?
Prime real estate? No traffic? Two moons!

What’s the first thing you’ll do on when you get there?
Take a selfie! (And, depending on where we land, have a snowball fight!)

No movies, no TV, no shopping malls or amusement parks, HOW will you spend your days? Will you miss those earthly pleasures?
I’ll certainly miss roller coasters. And we’ll still see movies, but certainly no more cinemas. But we’ll have work to do: we’ll be building living quarters and other structures; we’ll maintain a garden for food; we’ll do research for ourselves and for people on Earth; and we’ll even have a play room. (Ahem.) And I still have personal things I want to accomplish. I’ve already written a young adult novel (still looking for a publisher!), and I plan to continue writing while there. And I’m an actor, too: I hope to convince the other colonists to help me make a film or stage production.

Seems like there won’t be many sexual opportunities up there – just lots and lots of self-love – you OK with that?
No one does me like I do me, so I’m in good hands… (it’s pretty much all I do nowadays, anyway, so why ruin a good thing?)

What happens if you HATE your other three Mars colonists?
I’ll move to another crater?

Your name of course will live forever in history as one of the first four space colonists. How does that make you feel?
Honestly, there are no words. Being recognized for this is not a motivating factor, but it does come with the territory. I feel humbled, honored… I hope I make humanity proud.

Talk about the fact that you’ll die on Mars.
Location, location, location! (That’s pretty much the only difference than dying on Earth. Except, the chances are a tad bit higher that I’ll be a frozen, irradiated corpse with alien dust up my crack.)

Will you be our WOW Report MARS correspondent?
Where. Do. I. Sign!