
More proof we are living in the darkest timeline: A Burger King in Germany recently heated up a Whopper with an italian bread bun, making it so hot it was transformed into carbon…. which was then pressed it into diamonds. No, really. Whopper diamonds are a thing. They then created wedding rings for an Eastern European gay couple (named Dima and Alvar), who are from a country where gay marriage is illegal.
via Towleroad:
The Drum reports: ‘Burger King facilitated the wedding, brought them to Germany where gay marriage is legal and thoughtfully (or crassly?) transforms its lead product in a symbol of the couples’ love. The pair dubbed it a “dream come true” in a spot that culminates in the wedding celebration.
Watch the surprisingly touching video below:

In other fast food news of the weird: Arby’s is coming out with a carrot made of meat, because why not? It’s called a Marrot, of course, which sounds better than a Carreat, I suppose. DListed describes it as “made of turkey, sadness, and salt and then it’s sprayed down with the same spray tan Trump uses. It’s truly some monstrosity to behold.”
via People:
Introducing “Marrots” — the all-meat vegetable that says take a hike, Impossible Burgers.
On Wednesday, Arby’s unveiled its latest innovative creation, which looks just like a carrot, but don’t be fooled vegetarians — it is actually all meat, raising the promise of their slogan “We Have the Meats” to a whole new level.
The “Marrot” is the first release of the “Megetables,” which is Arby’s form of competition (and trolling) against other fast-food companies that are attempting to create meat-free menu items. This includes Burger King, which recently released The Impossible Burger, a meatless, plant-based burger patty.
Watch below.
Arby’s Chief Marking Officer claims that this is what American’s really want their vegetables to be.
“Plant-based meats are the latest incarnation of making vegetables look like what Americans really want, which is great, tasty meat,” Jim Taylor, Chief Marketing Officer for Arby’s, said in a statement.
So, the Megetables are coming. Like I said: THE DARKEST TIMELINE.