This has been on my mind for a week now, and I just have to get it off my chest: If Oscar Pistorius was gay and he married The Bride of Frankenstein’s evil Dr Pretorius, he would be Oscar Pistorius-Pretorius. And if he moved to Peter Griffin’s private kingdom from episode 2:18 of Family Guy, he would be Oscar Pistorius-Pretorius of Petoria. And: If Washington hostess Pearl Mesta married Oscar Pistorius and hyphenated her name, she’d be Mrs Mesta-Pistorius, which doesn’t mean anything, but it’s REALLY FUN TO SAY OUT LOUD. Mrs Mesta-Pistorius. Mrs Mesta-Pistorius. And if General Petraeus and Roman playwright Petronius got into the mix, they’d be… no wait. I haven’t thought that far ahead. Anyway. I’m sorry. It’s what I do in the dark of the night when I’m all alone with my thoughts. Carry on.