Very exciting news for those of you in the market for a new penis. South African doctors have successfully performed the world’s first penis transplant on a young man who had his wang amputated after a botched circumcision ritual.
The nine-hour transplant, which occurred in December last year, was deemed a success, and the young patient has since recovered full use of his new manhood.
From USA Today:
“The patient accepted the penis as his own,” Van der Merwe told the eNews Channel Africa (eNCA). “He told me in no uncertain terms that the fact it belonged to somebody else is completely out of his mind and he’s moved on with this as his own penis. That’s absolutely the way we want it.”
Van der Merwe indicated that doctors made sure that the the donor and recipient were of the same race.
“Cosmetically we’ve got a very good match for color,” he said. “We obviously transplanted a good normal penis and the erections that the patient gets are very good.”
Van der Merwe said the transplanted penis “was harvested from a donor whose family consented.”
The university said the patient had regained full function in the transplanted organ, including urinary and reproductive functions.
“Our goal was that he would be fully functional at two years and we are very surprised by his rapid recovery,” Van der Merwe.said.
The recipient’s girlfriend was offered counselling but declined, Van der Merwe said in the interview that was broadcast on Friday. “We were very thankful that it all worked out in the end and the patient’s doing well … the patient is sexually active again and is very happy.”
Doctors say the procedure could eventually be extended to men who have lost their penises to cancer or as a last resort for severe erectile dysfunction. Or maybe people who just want a new dick. For whatever reason. No judgements.
Perhaps some day very soon, you’ll be able to order your very own Hammaconda, Fassy phallus, Affleck-ian Bat-dick, or Leto-sized sausage. Ah, the future looks bright again, doesn’t it?