Well that’s ONE way to win “Never Have I Ever”…

Chris Broughton ran a tourist guide boat on the Zambezi river near Africa’s Victoria Falls. He usually tried to steer clear of a particularly grumpy male hippopotamus who was known to be widely territorial and had half-heartedly tried to attack him and his customers in the past.

One time, Broughton took a group of tourists out on the water along with three apprentice guides.

One of the apprentices was attacked by the hippo, flinging him into the air. Broughton ordered the other two guides to get the tourists to safety while he went after his apprentice. What happened next, told in Broughton’s own words, is absolutely insane.

In his own words, Broughten explained what happened next:

I reached over to grab his outstretched hand but as our fingers were about to touch, I was engulfed in darkness. There was no transition at all, no sense of approaching danger. It was as if I had suddenly gone blind and deaf.

I was aware that my legs were surrounded by water, but my top half was almost dry. I seemed to be trapped in something slimy. There was a terrible, sulfurous smell, like rotten eggs, and a tremendous pressure against my chest. My arms were trapped but I managed to free one hand and felt around – my palm passed through the wiry bristles of the hippo’s snout. It was only then that I realized I was underwater, trapped up to my waist in his mouth.

I wriggled as hard as I could, and in the few seconds for which he opened his jaws, I managed to escape. I swam towards Evans, but the hippo struck again, dragging me back under the surface. I’d never heard of a hippo attacking repeatedly like this, but he clearly wanted me dead.

The hippo spit Broughton out as he rose to the surface. A group of medical professionals were training nearby and managed to get him to the hospital, where he almost lost both arms and the bottoms of his legs. As it turned out, he only lost one arm to the attack.

Read his whole story here.

(via boing boing; Pic via Pixabay)