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No surprise. I could actually hear the squeals and orgasms as you cast your votes for Jake Ryan in yesterdays Hunk vs. Hunk competition. Michael Schoeffling, aka JAAAAAAAKE, won by a landslide. Poor Leo never stood a chance. Now it gets harder, though. We’re going to stay in the mid-’80s today. 1984, to be exact – the year Sixteen Candles came out. But who else was hot that year? I could have chosen Prince, or one of the fags from Duran Duran, or the cute, squinty-eyed, lead singer of Ah-Ha. Then it struck me. Of course! There’s only one guy who can beat Jake Ryan. ONLY THE HOTTEST GUY ON THE PLANET, WHO WAS AT THE PEAK OF HIS HOTTNESS! The guy with the glamour, the body, the hair, the chin, the dazzling good looks that defined a generation! Yes! Gaze upon this masterpiece of a man, in all his dazzling glory! Michael Shoeffling, meet your competition: the one and only John F. Kennedy Jr.! In 1984, the Kennedy aura of wealth and privilege still had a certain mystique to it. The Kennedy’s were fabulous AND gorgeous AND hot. Not like rich kids today. The Kennedys were never Hiltons, for Christ’s sake. We loved them. And nobody has ever been more loved than John-John Kennedy was that year. This picture was taken right after he graduated from Brown and moved to New York, so that he could play soccer in the park without his shirt on, and ride around on his bike without a shirt on, and generally just make everybody scream wherever he went. Goddamn, it was a glorious time to be alive. So spend a few moments looking at these two towering hunks of man-flesh. Who would you rather get sticky with: Michael Schoeffling or John F. Kennedy Jr.? As always, leave your votes in the comment section.
