Let’s be honest: Drew Barrymore stole Scream.
With her blonde bob, mom jeans, and gigantic cordless phone, starring (and dying) in just the first five minutes of the entire film, she became iconic.
For all you millenials, the first three Scream movies are streaming online so you can Netflix and chill with your boo and be haunted by this opener forever.
The ONLY other part about the Scream franchise that equally left a foot print (or stab wound) on the cultural zeitgeist (or impacted ever gay boy growing up in the burbs of the Midwest) was Gale Weathers ever-changing hair choices.
Wait…that’s not entirely true…
there’s also this special gem that literally saved Scream 3:
When she wasn’t serving monochromatic two-piece pantsuits that would make Solange Knowles and Hilary Clinton envious…
…Courtney Cox was giving us the bad, the good, and the so-bad-it’s-actually-kinda-good hairography eleganza throughout the four film extravanganza! And so, with no further adou, in the spirit of Halloween, grab your jiffy pop (but don’t leave it on the stove too long), and read along to find out
WHICH GALE WEATHERS HAIR ARE YOU?!
Are you a 9-to-5-er who pours a cup of ambition in the morning?
Are you a big fish in a small pond?
Are you literally the business woman’s special?
SCREAM 1 GALE WEATHERS HAIR!
We’re introduced to the Bethenny Frankel of Woodsboro, California in the first film on their local news channel. Her hair was always pulled back, away from her face (with little party and no play.) Not only did she sport horrible 90’s highlights, but let’s just say her wig needed some water because she was THIRSTY for a good story to sell. If curiosity is killing your career, than this is the look for you.
Are you now an established best-seller?
Did you just turn 30 but you’re still rocking Forever 21?
Did you read #GIRLBOSS in one afternoon at the beach?
SCREAM 2 GALE WEATHERS HAIR!
In the second film, Gale is at the top of her game. Her arms are RIPPED, so naturally, she wears sleeveless vests with pearls to showcase said toned arms. She is hip,edgy, and trendy (hence, the atrocious red stripes). But when a girl is literally crushing it in the office, does she have time to have a love crush? Gale starts to fall for Dewey, and we see a fierce tenacity in her heart, the same way we see it in her hard-hitting journalism. If you want to mix business and pleasure, than this is the look for you.
Have people asked you if you were in a
Pedro Almodovar film based off your outfit?
Have you ever been single white female-d?
Is a furrowed brow a staple go-to accessory in your closet?
SCREAM 3 GALE WEATHERS HAIR!
Gale is sort of a hot mess in Scream 3
(and LBR, we can see it, just by looking at her bangs).
She’s been painted as a dried-up dragon lady at this point in the series and hot, young, Parker Posey is set to replace her. If you are questioning some of your career/love choices (Dewey leaves her), getting a new look (like, terrible DIY Bettie Page bangs) or sporting bright colors are temporary solaces, but take some advice from your bangs, and GROW. If you’re a boss bitch, but have 99 problems, than this look is you.
Have you auditioned for Real Housewives?
Do you have a selfie stick?
Do you have an Amazon Prime account (but have never heard of Hulu?)
SCREAM 4 GALE WEATHERS HAIR!
Gale is mature, tired, and only wearing earth tones (mind you) in the fourth installment. Her hair is long, layered, and well, it’s a Brazilian blowout, truth be told. She’s hungry to get back in the game, so if you’re a sophisticated woman who likes her boxed (chilled) wine ready and waiting when she gets home (here’s looking at you Mrs. Kasha Davis!), than this look is for you.
If you’re like me, I hope there are a bajillion Screams to follow because we will get a gazillion more Gale Weather hairstyles to admire for decades to come.
And remember, whatever hair you’re in: