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You are here: Home / Entertainment / Celebs / Bitches, Boobs, and Blood: The Evolution of Horror’s Meanest Girls

Bitches, Boobs, and Blood: The Evolution of Horror’s Meanest Girls

By Bryan Keating on April 5, 2017 2:13 pm

If you’re as big of a horror fanatic as I am, you already know that not all villains wear masks.

In almost every horror movie since the beginning of time, we’ve encountered the Mean Girl. She’s bitchy, she’s petty, and now, she’s evolving to become the sole survivor!

SUZANNE – NIGHT OF THE DEMONS (1988)

Portrayed by: Linnea Quigley

Status: Death by Possession and Lipstick

We first encounter Suzanne while she distracts convenience store cashiers with her….assets. We don’t get enough time with Suzanne before she becomes the first to be possessed by a demon and sticks her lipstick through her nipple. The last time we see her, she seduces the Final Girl’s horny crush and devours him shortly after. Oh Suzanne, I cherished you on screen and had such high hopes for your character!

 

ALLY BURGESS – SLEEPAWAY CAMP 2 (1988)

Portrayed by: Valerie Hartman

Status: Death by Porter Potty filled with Feces and Leeches 

Ally Burgess graced the…campy, Sleepaway Camp 2. We first see her insulting serial killer Angela Baker and instantly know she’s our resident mean girl. She sleeps her way through camp, is cruel to everyone she encounters, and single handily is the reason that those before her bite the dust. In Ally’s final scene, she is drowned and covered in feces and leeches. Angela famously tells her, “You should have been the first to go.” Thankfully, she wasn’t. Without Ally, there’s seemingly no one to root for…besides Angela!

 

TATUM RILEY – SCREAM (1996)

Portrayed by: Rose McGowan

Status: Death by Garage Door and Stupidity

I believe Tatum Riley is where the Mean Girl stereotype finally evolved into also being the Best Friend. Tatum was abrasive, but she also had you root for her and not against her. In her last moments of grabbing beers for her friends, she’s wedged between a hard place and a doggy door. Her scene is frustrating because Tatum gives no inkling to having a weak mind throughout her story. However, it is because of her that the Mean Girl eventually began to become a character with purpose opposed to another number on the body count.

PAIGE PRESCOTT – VALENTINE (2001)

Portrayed by: Denise Richards

Status: Death by Hot Tub and a Power Drill

Paige Prescott is the only character on this list that receives more screen time than the film’s Final Girl. She oozes sex, mystery, and makes you want to grow up to be her. She’s the only one in her group of friends not necessarily pressed on finding a Valentine. If all of her friends had trusted her suggestion of the killer rather than laughing it off, they would’ve gotten out alive. We last see Paige ignoring a party full of potential suitors to enjoy time alone, as we all would prefer in our best friend’s mansion. The scene comes with the infamous final rose and a few blows to her body via a power drill. You were right, Paige! You should’ve made it!

 

JESSICA PIERSON – SORORITY ROW (2009)

Portrayed by: Leah Pipes

Status: Death by Axe and Stupid Friends 

This is one horror film death that I just haven’t gotten over yet. Jessica Pierson made only good decisions! Well, besides killing someone, but that was completely on accident. It’s after murdering her friend that she does everything right. Seriously, Jessica was just a few movies away from having the New Final Girl written all over her! She wanted to run away at every turn, didn’t want to investigate, and even tried to reason with the killer to get out alive. If it wasn’t for Jessica following her sorority sister’s around a burning home, she easily could’ve gotten out all on her own and ended the film with another sassy one-liner.

 

AMBER – KILL THEORY (2009)

Portrayed by: Ryanne Duzich

Status: Alive 

Without question, Amber is my favorite example of the evolving Mean Girl and arguably my favorite horror character ever to grace the screen. She starts off as the obvious first boot. She’s rude, drunk, and flirts with everyone’s boyfriend, including her own. Hell, she even brings handcuffs and is the only character to successfully get laid… and take Valium. That doesn’t stop her from annihilating her frenemies one by one in this “cabin by the woods” horror film turned into a battle royale. She gets revenge and also ends up finding peace with her one true love: her friend’s fiancee. Amber comes out on top as the sole survivor in kill theory. I’d kill for a sequel to see her continue this mean girl trend!

 

!BONUS! 

For the girlz…since we cannot forget our favorite serial killer…

BEVERLY SUTPHIN – SERIAL MOM (1994)

Portrayed by: Kathleen Turner

Status: Alive

Mean Girls don’t always come in the form of a young woman. Beverly Sutphin contains all of the essential mean girl qualities: sinister, attractive, and ruthless in her efforts… but she’s fighting for the greater good! Rather than being into senseless sex, drugs, and cruel language, she fatally opposes it. She goes above and beyond, even murdering a woman based on her outfit choices…after Labor Day, as she’d defend. Beverly is the classic Mean Girl who takes it a step further and evolves herself into the monster. Bless her heart! Who else wouldn’t kill for Ricki Lake?!

And remember, the Mean Girls tend to give the best advice…

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Filed Under: Celebs, Culture, Entertainment, Featured, LBGTQ, Misc, Social Media, TV & Video

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