“Thou shalt not bow down before craven images,” should be one of the commandments in The Ten Commandments: The Spectacle Musical, because that would take care of this Eurotrashtacular.

Actually that’s not fair; there is something horribly compelling about this musical karaoke, now running at the Kodak Theater on Hollywood Boulevard. Early Madonna songmeister Patrick Leonard wrote the songs, bringing Madge’s unmistakable disco-heathen vibe to this sacred story that unspools with perfect music video incoherence, nicely complemented with early music video “special” effects (most notably the parting of the Red Sea done with what looks like shower curtains purchased from Pier One).

Everybody’s swishing around marching to the Eurobeat and then suddenly breaking into “Vogue Like an Egyptian” dance routines that make the toes curl deliciously. As a motorized rock with a sprig of burning bush on top trundles fitfully across the stage, snorts of derision explode involuntarily from the audience. Everybody wildly overacts, especially in an endless golden-calf orgy scene that is pure kakabbala.

Like the poster proclaims, “Val Kilmer Is Moses,” but Jeff Stryker might have been better cast in this biblical Showgirls that even Vegas might consider too tacky to stage.

Photo: Stacy Kranitz