• George Clooney stumps for his dad’s run for the House of Representatives.
• People die in record numbers at and en route to The Passion of the Christ. And are moved to confess to murders they’d gotten away with.
• Ashton is 30, not 26?
• Audience sues Creed for a lackluster concert.
• Idol Moments for Women, Idol Spirit for Men: perfumes inspired by American Idol.
• Paris Is Burning‘s voguer Willi Ninja schools Paris Hilton and other socialites in how to walk.
• Wardrobe malfunction = TV dysfunction.
• An iPod in every room, a gay on every sitcom.
• Stephen Sprouse dies.
• Winston Churchill’s parrot still alive, still railing against Hitler and the Nazis.
• House of Clues host Reef Karim makes People‘s Sexiest Men Alive list.
• The all-gay TV channel, Pink, launches in France.
• Rebecca and Michael McCall, whose toddler son is named ESPN after the sports channel, renewed their wedding vows over a cake in the shape of an iPod.
• Guys Gone Wild, the DVD collection.
• Testicle tucks lift men’s morale.
• “Doing a Lynndie” becomes a fad pose in the UK, inspired by the infamous photo of Abu Ghraib’s Lynndie English.
• Marge Simpson finally makes the cover of Maxim.
• Matt Haber’s dog, Missy, blogs the Oscars for Low Culture.
• From the grave, director John Schlesinger accuses Madonna of contributing to his death.
• Vincent Gallo gets Chloë Sevigny to blow him in his movie The Brown Bunny.
• Courtney Love allows a fan to suckle her at a New York Wendy’s.
• Cupcakes are the new birthday cake.
• Rick James dies.
• The Hidden Fuhrer outs Adolph, then Larry Kramer insists he was a meth head as well.
• Party Monster, the movie, creates a monster cult.
• Prisoner #97A-6595 blabs long distance to James St. James.
• Antonio Sabato Jr gets pummeled backstage at a Heatherette show.
• Burger King creates the Subservient Chicken website.
• Madonna re-invents her name as Esther, for kabbalah’s sake.
• David Lee Roth becomes a paramedic.
(Coming up soon! The 2004 Wowie Awards! A list not to be missed!)
