In an ingenious experiment that almost went horribly wrong, the local constabulary in a town just outside of Sydney, Australia, began piping full-volume the greatest hits of Barry Manilow into the streets of a residential neighborhood between nine and midnight to frighten away the hordes of teens hanging out on weekends being loud and annoying to residents, in that way teens have of enjoying themselves. But if you were a teen, and you might be, wouldn’t you just come back after midnight? Anyway, it frightened the teens, but it also got on the nerves of Rockdale’s residents and irked Manilow himself (recently on Blender‘s list of 25 Biggest Wusses…Ever), who somehow got wind of the fiendish plan. “Frankly, I think if you played anyone’s music for that long you’d drive any rationally minded human out of their mind,” Manilow said. “But have they thought that these hoodlums might like my music? What if some of them began to sing along to ‘Can’t Smile Without You?’ Or lit candles when ‘I Write the Songs’ was played? Or, heaven forbid, danced around to the infectious beat of ‘Copacabana.’ What if this actually attracts more hoodlums? What if it puts smiles on their faces?” Not gonna happen, Bar. The kids have found somewhere else to hang. And who said they were hoodlums?
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