Face it, guys: As much as we all want Chase Crawford’s character on Gossip Girl to bottom for badboy Chuck Bass, there is NO WAY IN HELL that the PTB will allow their breakout heartthrob to go homo. NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER. We DO know, however, that SOMEONE is about to come out of the closet, and I’m thinking (and hoping and praying) that it’s pretty little crazy-boy (crazy little pretty-boy?) Eric van der Woodsen. Connor Paolo (who plays Serena’s little brother) is all soft and pretty like a girl, anyway, so it’s just a hop, skip, and jump to “class queer,” RIGHT? And look at how good he looks in a dress (picture from the movie Alexander)! Mark my words, people.

– James St James