Our favorite gossip hag, Perez Hilton, has some advance news on the imminent breakups of both Tom & Katie and Kev & Britney (we refuse to call Kevin by his rap name until he earns it). Or at least some observations, if not outright news.

To avert suspicion, eight-months-pregnant (has it been that long?) Katie took flight to Australia to join Tom for a Scientology funeral when news of their split hit the tabs. Tom blames Katie for the news leak. Katie’s dad tells Life & Style that his daughter’s not happy. (No, Scientology didn’t die, just a Scientologist.)

Meanwhile, Britney and the babe are in Hawaii while Kev and a different sort of babe altogether were seen arminarm outside the Los Angeles studio where he’s recording his masterpiece.

(Yes, we know. There’s an item about WOW Report favorite Pete Doherty. But he can do better. Much better.)