Maurice Baumann, a German burglar, was spared a prison sentence when he was rushed to hospital with an emergency case of “priapism,” or “I’m-always-getting-erections.” According to a clinical report, Mr Baumann suffers from either “semi” or “maximum rigidity” at all times. And despite lengthy measures, as it were, he couldn’t keep control of the bloody thing: “I took painkillers and drank lots of beer. I even took scalding hot baths. But nothing helped.” Doctors even tried sticking needles in to his manhood, but with no joy. His prosecutor was incensed at the judgement, and declared, “I don’t regard him as an acute case.” But as the photo shows, maybe not acute, but certainly moving in that direction.
– Donal Coonan